I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.
why did the boy get run over ? sally was driving
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Whats the difference between my car and a school bus. A school bus takes them back home
I was driving with my parent and shouted its a super hero but i didnt know it was a emo kid
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Today is sad my sister got hit by a car and I lost my license as a driver
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus
are you a white van because i would love to put children in you.
Me dozing off while driving. Everyeone alse on the passanger plane September 11 2001