Driver jokes
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What is the bus?
All then are bad.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.