Tomato jokes

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Why is a tomato red?

Because it saw the ranch dressing!

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?

To bring sweet luck.

What did the tomato say to the other tomato?

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."

What do you call a red potato?

A tomato. 🍅

(I know it's cringe!)

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.

What do you call a burnt retard?

Tomato

What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?

What did a tree say to the tomato?

Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.

Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!