My friend has glasses and we were talking about owls, and i told my friend to give a owl glasses. i told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl! (`~look up spectacled owl~`)
joker gives batman a coupan for new parents its expired
how can you tell that a blonde likes you? she only give three fucking nights in a row.
Your walking one day and a little kid about 5-6 years old comes up to you asking, "What's a condom"? You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell to them.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day Give a man a poisoned potato, hell be full for the rest of his life.
I'll give you an A because your awesome s B because you beautiful a C because your caring And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map? Can you give me some pointers.
“Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “May I help you?”
“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the handjobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.”
The man replies, “Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”
Daveon says "Oh wow, she's so beautiful." The doctor then says. "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer"
Do you have a halo,Cause i can give it to you
your so poor if ever broke into your house id give you things
Me: truth or dare?
Crush: dare
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number
Crush: umm nevermind truth
Me: ok what is your phone number
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the mothervoard
Mary had a great big ram his fleece was white as snow when on hands and knees our Mary went his wad was sure to blow
Month by month her belly grew increasing in it's girth and when five months had flown by our Mary did give birth
And Mary had a little lamb a little lamb, a little lamb....
ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR.
KIK:hangtherule
me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have? Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you. Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you. Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies than day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins the doctor said but the lady was like
The lady: ugh why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl not a boy to just a girl!!!!!!!,!
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma the man who was in labor died the two babys got a nanny a evil one the nanny killed the babys on there first birthday
