Give jokes

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

B because you're beautiful.

A C because you're caring.

And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

Do you have a halo?

'Cause I can give it to you.

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."