Give jokes
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.