Communism jokes
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
"Sharing is communism."
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.