Phone Number jokes

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!