Phone Number

Phone Number Jokes

Pregnancy

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

Yo mama

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

911

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

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  • Protection

    Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

    A fake name and a fake phone number.

  • 1
  • Yo mama

    Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

    Policeman

    A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

    I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

    Hairline

    Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

    Bedtime

    Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

    Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

    Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

    Mom

    Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

    Momma

    Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

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  • Orphan

    Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

    "Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

    Truth

    Me: Truth or dare?

    Crush: Dare.

    Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

    Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

    Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

    Weight

    When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

    Age

    A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

    Weight

    You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."