Toddler

Toddler Jokes

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?

R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like 'ankle biters', 'rug rats' and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, 'carpet muncher' doesn't mean what I thought it does.

Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return. If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.

A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!

Mom:its time for sleep.Baby:is that what you think huh.Mom:*gives baby pacifier*.Baby:nice try hobo.Mom:well ill come back later to see if hes gone asleep.*few hours later*Baby:*still awake* Mom:why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!.Baby:Lol i told you nice try haha