Give jokes
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
If you are a female pedo, I am looking for you.
And if you want, I'll give you my wand.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
I give homework.
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?
And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (😟): What's wrong?
Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...
Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.