Give jokes
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
Memes
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"