Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?
Answer:16
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
All normal sized babies a delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
If i send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces: "Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!" Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!" Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though." Nuns: "Ugh! No thank you then..."
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner
Q.What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Ubereats? A. The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
doctor: I will deliver the baby right away Dad: I would the baby to have a liver
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess. Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but someone bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby? A: A clothes hanger
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career. In the trailer Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
