I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What a group of emos is called? A funeral
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
#RIPBOZO
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
