Boss Jokes

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”


So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone


I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".

She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied "you just ask nicely

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

My boss said she would’ve loved to meet bill Cosby as a child. I don’t get why im getting arrested, I was just making sure he dream came true

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".

a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

boss: "we have to let you go."

surgeon: "I protest innocence."

boss: "how?"

surgeon: "I thought to do your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

boss: "get out"


I'll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "