Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.