"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
I got an xbox achievement the other day. It said trash master, and everyone looked at me at the funeral
What did cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral? She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi arabias best pilot
When you at a funeral and you laugh at the body...everyone stares and one person said isn ́t that your mom......?
