Dude Jokes

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,"I want to be more handsome than the first guy.", God granted his wish. "The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess" I said 215kg, he didnt find it as funny

I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called 'serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.

Why is that a joke?

Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.

Why is that a joke?

Dude come on you want to start your day off happy or not?

Why is that a joke?

She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.

No seriously dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.

Elmo- welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia

dude- why are we close to Disneyland.

kid- I don't know. Elmo- rule 1 you must not tell the afforests or Bob Iger about us.

meanwhile Officer- come on Elmo you're going to prison. *Officer arrests Elmo* Elmo- But who wants Tickels.

A friend called me a while back say "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing". I reply saying " Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes".

What did the neutron say to the atom? Sndwichis dude!!!!

Me: Yo, dude! yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV I missed three episodes! My friends mom: why you bully me?

Bro i saw two dudes kissing LOL but not regular kissing

Hey dude can you speel ihop. Sure man. I H O P. Wait you ate my pee!!!

this black dude goes up to an indian guy and say "what up brotha" the indian guy gets offended and says we are not the same, the black guy then pulls out a gun, and the indian guy says ok brother ok brother we are the same we are the same, do the voice in your head