imma eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before i die just to make the cremation a lil more interesting
gramma:when we go to a wedding whispers ur next
at a funeral iwhisper ur next
You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
You cant spell Funeral without fun.
why did no one turn up to Jhon's funeral? because sally wrote the invitations
i told a joke at a funeral but no one laughed, one mf was ded tho💀
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
My father who flew the plane couldn't have a funeral,he went everywhere
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed , but someone died
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sisters knickers the other day, it wouldn’t of been so bad but she’s was wearing them at the time, it made the rest of the funeral so awkward
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby.” The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Your hair line goes back when my gran died and she hurried 6 foot undee
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I killed a Homeless dude now she's at funeral HOME😭💔
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.
