Food jokes

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they’re used to eating nuts.

Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.