Avocado jokes

What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

How is the world's fattest avocado called?

Niko

Avocado. Avocado deez nuts!

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?