Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
Curry.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
What did the chef on the titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes- "oh no the sink sank!"
What’s a cannibals favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men)
