What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Cheese Jokes
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
