Food jokes
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
I eat ass.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?