The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, “You first”
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘ re re‘ and your like ‘ re re ‘ yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured “well that escalated quickly…”
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife
Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock the man who knife raped his wife.
will: Let’s bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile come in the bucket!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn’t outsmart me.
me:hi Jaiden bully/Jaiden harper:leave me alone weirdo me:wow says the one who didn’t pass 3RD grade bully/Jaiden harper:"hits" me:calls fbi and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves"bye bye" fbi:“FBI OPEN UP!!!”
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window? It reminded him of Arnold Clock the man convicted of knife raping his wife.