Depression

Reginor

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.

Brother

Haisk

“And then I said KNIFE to meet you.”

“You stabbed my brother!”

“It’s okay, I’m in STABle condition!”

Toe

Dawn

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

Jesus

jfubtgjvon

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, “You first”

Depression

Anonymous

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.

Skeleton

Anonymous

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.

Depression

Lance

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

Personal

Punisher

Whats a knifes favorite person?

The victim.

Shower

Anonymous

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘ re re‘ and your like ‘ re re ‘ yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

Dad

Ben lauwers

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

Darkness

Kill 'em with kindness

I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster

Last Word

Anonymous

I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The fuck you doing whit that knife

Stab

stabwounds101

Knife to meet u all!

Butter

Anonymous

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Fat

Moe Lester

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils : A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT

Depression

Timtam

What’s the difference between a knife and my life? A knife has a point

Meeting

Anonymous

What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you

Ex

Anonymous

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

Puns

Anonymous

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn’t outsmart me.

Man

Punisher

Whats a crazy mans favorite phrase when he has a knife?

Freak out!