Food

Food jokes

Twin Towers

What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.

Twin Towers

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

Incest

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Michael Jackson

Where does Michael Joseph Jackson like to eat at?

A Del-he-he.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.