Vegetarian jokes
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.