Vegetarian Jokes

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

What do vegetarian zombies eat? -- Graaaaiins.

why dont vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they dont want to admit that meat makes them happy

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window. When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food." When the man looked confused, the owner said; "Windows are nature's vending machine."

What is a vegetarian's favorite song?

No beef

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?

Wheelchair.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone? -a VEGUN

The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks "so you don't miss fried chicken."

If 2 vegans are arguing is it still considered beef?

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

What’s another term for a lesbian? A vagetarian

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people? Seasoned vegetables.