Vegetarian jokes
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)