Bread jokes

I had a good time with friends!

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.

What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"

What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?

Panera Lead.

Banana bread is cute.

What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?

Panera Wedged.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?

Panera Dread.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?

Panera Behead.

🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?

Doughnuts, because they're holy.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

Suck all the bread!