Bread

Bread Jokes

Stripper

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.

Duck

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

Memes

Knife

💵💵💵💵💵💰💰😎😎

The top panel shows a close-up of a loaf of bread with a knife cutting through it. The knife appears to have heating elements and is glowing red. The bottom panel shows a man's face in a state of excitement. In the foreground, his hand is reaching for a blue button that says 'INVEST'. Below this is the label 'Knife Toaster'.

Sausage

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

Mom

My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.

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  • Alabama

    Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?

    Because their meat has to be in bread.

    Giant

    How are giants and strippers alike?

    They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

    Sandwich

    Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.

    Programmer

    A programmer and his wife.

    She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

    After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

    The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

    He replies, "They had eggs."

  • 4
  • Mayonnaise

    Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

  • 1
  • Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

  • 0