Bread jokes
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
I had a good time with friends!
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
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The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.