Food jokes
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
cane sauce
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor? Porn Cocktail.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"