Food jokes
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl of chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
What's long and black? The line at KFC.