Food jokes
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
This making me laughing so much! 🤣🤣🤣
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
20 likes by just cheese.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.