Food jokes
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.