Food jokes
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
What did the Indian say to the fat man?
"Curry up!"
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
You look like a burger.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.