Food jokes

Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm in your apple!

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!

Do you know what I found in my letter soup?

A space.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

What are cow jokes considered?

Cheesy.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well!

What did the duck eat for lunch?

Soup and quackers.

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.

What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

What's a plus side to being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family size. T - T

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry!

(classic)