Food jokes
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Memes
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.