Food jokes
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.