Desert

Desert jokes

Parachute

    • There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."

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    • Bear

    • I was walking in the forest with my gf.

    I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

    A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

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    • Stealth

    • What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

    They can't be way too loud.

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    • Desert memes

    Man

    • Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

    Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

    Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

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    • Man

    • Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

    The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

    The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

    The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

    The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

    The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

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    • Wish

    • There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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    • Armadillo

    • So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

    He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

    The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

    The person says: "What's a dilo?"

    Dream

    • "Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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    • Cowboy

    • There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

    The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

    The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

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