What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?: They both spread for bread
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak
What does a prostitute and peanut butter have in common They both spread for bread
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when penaldo appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but I said "no pens for you". And “brentford”.He cried and ran away. Shame on you penaldo the fraud.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n Jealousy! 😂
So little Susie came home and said “mom little johnny show me his pecker”. And her mom said WHAT?! And little Susie was like yea it reminded me of a peanut, her mom said oh because it was so small. Susie said no because it tasted salty.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can't be tho.. he's allergic to nuts!
Peanut butter 🧈
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
