My family is like a cactus; A bunch of pricks.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

Can a match box? No but a tin can.

What is purple and wines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

did you

What’s a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest’s basement.

What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill? A. A lamb slide

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub? steamed vegetables.

What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator? A box of crackers.

If I had a dollar for every gender I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Taco Bell going out of business

What is purple, small , and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial retarded kids?Mixed vegetables.

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

DON’T GO TO GHOSTPOSTER.COM THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO RUN THAT SITE ARE A FUCKING BUNCH IF DUMB FUCKING CUNTS WHO CAN SUCK MY BIG COCK

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill? Abo-lanche

What’s hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies.My dick.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. “Chuck, how ya doin’? The missus doin’ good?” "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I’m done." This caught the bartender by surprise. “Chuck, come on, don’t be sayin’ that. Just look to the future and you’ll be fine.” “What future?” Chuck replied in a huff. “My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they’ll all suffer, and I don’t want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don’t know what to do.” “You know, you’ve got a good heart for a rooster your age,” Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I’m tellin’ ya, there will be more than what’s happenin’ right now, ya know, life’s got all its gears turning for ya, and there’s just a bit slow right now. The gears haven’t been oiled in a while, but who’s the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken’s Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. “No thanks, Phil,” Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck’s comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked… worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them… and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck’s eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

Loading...