Bunch jokes
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche.
What about Mexicans you may ask? A mudslide.
What about black people running down a hill?? A jailbreak.
you.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."