Bunch

Bunch jokes

Ex

  • Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

  • 1
  • Canada

  • How did pioneers name Canada?

    They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

    That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

  • 0
  • Extortion

  • A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

    "How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

    "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

    The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

    She said, "Not everybody paid."

  • 5
  • Orphan

  • So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

    The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

    The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

    Cow

  • A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

    "Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

    "Heard of what?"

    "Herd of cows."

    "Of course I've heard of cows."

    "No, a cow herd."

    "What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

  • 0
  • Slide

  • Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

    When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

    Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

    Brownie

  • This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

  • 1
  • Crow

  • They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!

    They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!

    War

  • Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends