Food jokes

What did a tree say to the tomato?

Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.

Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!

XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Name a nut. You because are nuts.

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

A goose with no beak, and you eat?

Goose beak salad, file! :)

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.