Food jokes

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

What is Spiderman's favorite rice?

Uncle Ben's.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."

What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

What do you call an Italian dog?

A labra-noodle.

Keep calm and curry on!

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.