Food jokes
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
I would tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
me in thanksgiving
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...