A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

What is a cannibal’s favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? SPARERIBS

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, No atmosphere.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You´re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

a man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili the waiter said “sorry sir this is a Asian restaurant”. So he stretches his eyes and says “oh herro can i get some chiri”.

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there’s only… 13 of you?" Jesus: “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”

Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn’t want to see the bill.

Q: What is a Mexicans favorite restaurant??

A: On the border

Did you hear about the restaurant there putting on the moon Good food but no atmosphere

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.

We were at a restaurant today and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch. I asked, “what do they raise there? Sea horses?”

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to burry them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat though.”

have you ate at the restaurant at the Moon its got good food but no atmosphere.

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive

why should you never give else a balloon? cause she will let it go

Have you heard of the restaurant karma There is no menu because you only get what you deserve

Went to my local Indian restaurant asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala the waiter said what’s that I said it’s the same as a tikka just a little otter

your mama so fat that all restaurants say maximum weight 240KG or your mum

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