Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? SPARERIBS
Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? because he had a big bill
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount, I served in the war?" The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?" "Nein," said the old man.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
Would you like to try African food??
They would too.
On 9/11 the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas, one came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
Why did the chicken go to KFC... to visit his family
