Food jokes
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
Memes
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Cereal.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"