Food jokes
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
Cereal.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
What flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.