What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Food Jokes
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
You look like a burger.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
