Food jokes

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

What is red, pink, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What is green, brown, and goes round and round?

The same baby 3 weeks later.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?

Cosmic Brownies.

What's Penaldo's least favorite food?

Indian Murukku, because it reminds him of Morocco! 🤣🤣🤣

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean beef.

Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?

A: On The Border.

What's long, hard, and has cum in it?

A cuCUMber.

What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.