Food jokes
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"