I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
Batter Jokes
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.