Salt jokes
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Memes
Would be funny but I’d rather not get beat to death.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Finish the sentence.
Salt and Vi.....
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!