Food jokes
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.