What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Food Jokes
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
