Food jokes
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Memes
If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.