Food jokes
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
What kinda pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Two plains.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.