Food jokes
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.