Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Fellow
Goodbye guys, I'm out of this dump. (this was a lie, I'm back)
Five more days.
what do you call a virgin form Alabama? an orphan.
why where the twin towers mad? cause they order pepperoni and got plane. (yes its plain, shut)
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.