Food jokes
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
Memes
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.