Food jokes
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐