Fire jokes

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

What begins with F and ends with CK?

Fuck, I mean fire truck.

After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?

The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)