Fire jokes
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
🥲🥲🥲
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.