Fire jokes

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.

A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.

Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

Parents: To bring other children?

Me: No, to have the fire.

Parents: Won't they be missed?

Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

Me: I know how to use a microwave!

Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!