Fire jokes

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.

But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

What do you call a candle in armor?

A knight light.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"