Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
