Microwave jokes
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
Microwave.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.