how do you pet a psychopaths cat?

you get it out of the microwave

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.

What’s red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass? A baby in the microwave

did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it

Whats the resemblance between a microwave and reproduction( human )? -they both make a sound at the end.

What is red bubbling and scratching at a window, A baby in the microwave.

How do turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill withers

What do you call a baby with red on it A baby in a microwave

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating

What’s the worst part about microwaving vegetables

Fittig the wheelchair in

Q: what does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common? A:They both go “ping” when they’re done

microwave

whye dose Sam sung sell TeeVss? Cuss thay make them?😂😂

Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!

Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!

True story

How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

I don’t know I close my eyes when I masterbate…

What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave? I don’t know I close my eyes when I masturbate.