Machine Gun jokes

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.