Machine Gun jokes

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.