Ex jokes

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter

What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT.

What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.