Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
My ex.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
