My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Ur butt is bigger then my ex-girlfriend’s butt and I love it
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
ex-bf's gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.
What do the twin towers and my ex have in comman? The both fell on my dad.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
