Ex

Ex jokes

Orphan

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Depression

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Face

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

Johnny: What?

Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

Ex: Awhh!

Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

Breakup

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

Day

"Hey, today was great!"

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car!"

Cell phone

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

Rhyme

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

Post

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Scratch

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

Cow

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Comeback

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Butt

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

Fan

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

Twin

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.