What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben-- but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. π
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldnβt understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' Iβm like, hellooooo! Itβs only 25 cents!"
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
