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Girlfriend

Tanner Pomeranz

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

Death

PotatoKing

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience…

Depression

Anonymous

Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I’ll ever have.

Stairs

Anonymous

What’s black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven hawking where the experiments went wrong.

Kid

Anonymous

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn’t get what he wanted. I told me friend there’s a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him “The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a ‘hole’ lot of fun.”

Death

gay for Jules

Death once had a near chuck experience.

Puns

Anonymous

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.

Hole

Anonymous

What’s the best part of having sex on a golf course?

The hole experience.

Hand

Anonymous

A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny’s turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, “Teacher, I don’t know what it is.”. the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it’s what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it’s an asshole!!!"

JFK

Anonymous

An assassin is about to shot his target, “I’m about to give you the JFK experience,.”

Puns

tony

How does an artist fill in a cv? He draws on experience

Bone

steve

getting hurt is a bone breaking experience it’s such a spine tingling event

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Puns

Person

Confucius say, man who bite electric wire get shocking experience.

Difference

Crazygangsta

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can’t!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

Bad

Anonymous

I ate some gunpowder once. It was a exploding experience.

Man

Anonymous

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man better than another heterosexual man? experience

Adult

Anonymous

Why kind of experience does a feminist have? being a bitch

Puns

Anonymous

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas, it wasn’t a very apealing experience.

Man

Anonymous

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and…“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Death

Anonymous

If I worked for Edexcel, I’d give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

Week

anti furry assosiation

three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant’s ass and the scientists wait three weeks.

the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.

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