My life
Tell me when you get it
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man better than another heterosexual man? experience
Why kind of experience does a feminist have? being a bitch
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*
Now 14y.o. : Oh...
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
Little Jonny tried phone sex but the holes was too small.
getting hurt is a bone breaking experience it's such a spine tingling event
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood
Q:what's the hardest thing about losing your virginity A:making sure she doesn't wake up
Me: have you ever tried african food
You: no
Me: they haven't either
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:πΆπΆπ¨π°π°π°π¨
