Ex jokes

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:

A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.

B. That men are actually treated unequally.

SO

we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.